Momma

I was told 6 1/2 years ago that momma had 2 to 3 weeks to live.  Maybe 2 to 3 years at best.  My brother stayed with her for the first 3 years and then she came to live with me.  She is a survivor.  She went to the hospital for an asthma attack and had surgery for a very aggressive thyroid cancer.  She lost her vocal cords, and her ability to swallow.  She has a tracheotomy and a feeding tube.  But as you can see in the photo, she did not lose her ability to smile.  I was lying in bed tonight allowing my mind to go places it probably should not go.  The reality of her age (84) and all of her medical problems lead me to thinking about the fact that one day soon (not to soon, hopefully) she will indeed go on to be with Jesus.  I thought about the momma shaped hole it would leave in my life.  Only one thing can fill a hole like that...God, Himself.
One of my children's church kiddos told me about a computerized shape sorter for toddlers.  Sometimes you can force a round peg into a square hole, but the computer would recognize it as a wrong shape and cause it to drop out the bottom so the toddler would have to try again and fill the hole correctly.  This 10 year old boy then told me that the toy was like the God shaped hole in our hearts.  He said no matter how hard you try to fill it with something else, it will never be filled until the day you fill it with God.  Pretty deep stuff for a 10 year old.
So when that day comes that I must say good by for now to my momma, I must remember that the only thing that can fill that hole that she will leave in my life is God.  I am not much of a drinker and even less in favor of medication.  I know people who try to fill the holes in their lives with those two things though.  They are temporary fillers that cause the hole to be even larger when the hangovers hit and the meds wear off.  But God.  That is all you need to know.  But God.  I have heard so many ex drunks and drug addicts give their testimony and then they say "But God".  "But God had a different plan for my life." "But God decided to step in" " But God knew better".  When that day comes and someday I give my testimony on how I got through it, I will say, But God moved and filled my momma shaped hole with His presence.   But God.
I know this has NOTHING to do with purses, but I need to share.  My mom and I laugh together, we cry together, we get mad at each other, we boss each other around, but mostly, at the end of the day, we love each other.  Give your momma a hug tonight and think about filling the God shaped hole in your life with the very presence of God Himself.
Blessings,

Joyce

Happy Birthday to me!  Yesterday was my birthday!  I am now 57 years old.  I am not quite sure how this happened.  It was just yesterday that I was 18 and still rocking a bikini.  My mid drift has not seen the sun in so long now that it would blind you with how white it is!  But (there is always a but), I would not go back again.  I love where I am in life these days.  I love every bit of my 57 years; the wrinkles, the fat, the memories, all of it. Two of my closest friends came over yesterday and had a birthday tea party just for me.  We spent the day talking about past, present, and future.
I think it was only suppose to last a couple of hours, but as usual, we stretched it out to about 9 hours.  We laughed, we peed a little, and then we laughed some more!  We talked about everything...and I mean everything! I could not and would not have appreciated a tea party when I was 18.  I could not and would not have appreciated the importance of life time friendships when I was 18.  Both things that I now embrace and enjoy.  There is something about a cup of tea with friends.  Good friends do not come along very often, so when you find yours, do not ever let go.  There are highs and lows and everything in between along the way.  The stories you share from years gone by will fill your heart and overflow your eyes with tears.  We have been through death, birth, husbands, jobs, ministries, and every other conceivable situation in our friendships.  Sometimes I am a little jealous of these two remarkable women that God has placed in my life.  At 24 years of friendship, I am still the new kid on the block.  They have known each other since high school.  I came in about 15 years later.  They talk about high school dance team and people from the past that I do not know.  That is ok though and I really don't mind.  We have 24 years of memories together that are irreplaceable.  The day culminated with prayer.  They both gathered around me and prayed a prayer of blessing over my life.  What more could a person ask for.  Thank you Shari and Shana.  My tea party was exquisite, but the best gift I got was from God and that was the gift of you.  I love you.
Blessings
Joyce