Momma

I was told 6 1/2 years ago that momma had 2 to 3 weeks to live.  Maybe 2 to 3 years at best.  My brother stayed with her for the first 3 years and then she came to live with me.  She is a survivor.  She went to the hospital for an asthma attack and had surgery for a very aggressive thyroid cancer.  She lost her vocal cords, and her ability to swallow.  She has a tracheotomy and a feeding tube.  But as you can see in the photo, she did not lose her ability to smile.  I was lying in bed tonight allowing my mind to go places it probably should not go.  The reality of her age (84) and all of her medical problems lead me to thinking about the fact that one day soon (not to soon, hopefully) she will indeed go on to be with Jesus.  I thought about the momma shaped hole it would leave in my life.  Only one thing can fill a hole like that...God, Himself.
One of my children's church kiddos told me about a computerized shape sorter for toddlers.  Sometimes you can force a round peg into a square hole, but the computer would recognize it as a wrong shape and cause it to drop out the bottom so the toddler would have to try again and fill the hole correctly.  This 10 year old boy then told me that the toy was like the God shaped hole in our hearts.  He said no matter how hard you try to fill it with something else, it will never be filled until the day you fill it with God.  Pretty deep stuff for a 10 year old.
So when that day comes that I must say good by for now to my momma, I must remember that the only thing that can fill that hole that she will leave in my life is God.  I am not much of a drinker and even less in favor of medication.  I know people who try to fill the holes in their lives with those two things though.  They are temporary fillers that cause the hole to be even larger when the hangovers hit and the meds wear off.  But God.  That is all you need to know.  But God.  I have heard so many ex drunks and drug addicts give their testimony and then they say "But God".  "But God had a different plan for my life." "But God decided to step in" " But God knew better".  When that day comes and someday I give my testimony on how I got through it, I will say, But God moved and filled my momma shaped hole with His presence.   But God.
I know this has NOTHING to do with purses, but I need to share.  My mom and I laugh together, we cry together, we get mad at each other, we boss each other around, but mostly, at the end of the day, we love each other.  Give your momma a hug tonight and think about filling the God shaped hole in your life with the very presence of God Himself.
Blessings,

Joyce